This Program Has Been Brought To You By The Letters WTF

Amber McCormick
June 24 2010 08:25AM

One more sleep, Nationers. One more sleep until we find out who will be crowned the new Golden Boy of the Edmonton Oilers. I have to be honest, I can’t wait for all of this to be over. For weeks I’ve been listening to the same arguments in the Team Seguin vs. Team Hall debate. This is getting more out of control than Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. *Note to self* pre-purchase your tickets for the Eclipse premiere*

Draft time may very well end up being my least favourite time of the season. At the beginning I’m excited. I sit patiently waiting for news, a hint or an insiders opinion on what may or may not happen. By the second week of June I’m about ready to shoot off my own face with a flare gun

I’ve mentioned to you before that I know people. I do. Seriously. And I’ve heard by a trusted source (and by “trusted” I mean a guy that a friend of mine knows) that Kevin Lowe pimped out his daughter to Tayler Hall in order to make sure that he had a comfortable stay while visiting the City of Champions. Lowe’s daughter is clearly a girl-about-town because she took T.H. to one of the hottest places in our fair City. Boston Pizza on Jasper Ave. If that doesn’t seal a million dollar deal I don’t what does.

For a brief moment I thought that Lowe’s display of trust by letting his daughter go out unchaperoned with a hormonal hockey player was all the proof needed to show that Hall was our boy. That was until Tuesday when everything I held true in my life was suddenly turn inside out and questioned...

Pat Quinn moved to Senior Hockey Advisor and Tom Renney as the new Head Coach?

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Say whaaaaat?!”. This makes me nervous. Could this setting the tone that anyone is replaceable if things don’t turn out the way Tambellini wants it? Will this send out the message and added pressure to our players and coaching staff that if you don’t show me what I want to see then you’re out?

I’m sure it was thought through carefully and not a decision Tambellini made in the shower that morning but it still makes me nervous. I’ll be the first to admit that I know nothing about coaching. But is one season sufficient time to find your groove? You must take into consideration that, last season, our entire team was made out of glass and the injured list grew faster than that mysterious mole on my back.

This move, that has left many Oil fans ass over tea kettle, confirms my suspicion that we don’t have a clue what the powers-that-be are thinking. I wouldn’t be surprised for second that they toss both Hall and Seguin out the window and go with Fowler. You know, just to keep things spicy.

Time will tell.

Hey, Khabibulin. We’re going for drinks. You coming?

On July 7, Nikolai Khabibulin will appear in Arizona court for his trial stemming from a February DUI charge. My favourite thing about this is that The Bulin Wall’s lawyer is stating that his constitutional rights were violated and the charges should be dismissed.

Does this mean that the next time I get hammered and run down the street naked I can proclaim that I’m merely exercising my constitutional right to be a drunken asshole? If so, this is going to be a great summer.

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Amber lives in Edmonton. Everyday she tries to do her part in preserving nature. Tomorrow she's pickling squirrels. Amber doesn't sweat the petty thing and she doesn't pet the sweaty things.
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#1 David S
June 24 2010, 08:36AM
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I think you can only use the "recent surgery gambit" in the states. They're so gullible down there.

Nice to see you back in the writer's chair!

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#2 The Towel Boy
June 24 2010, 08:37AM
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Ammmmmbuhh! (to be read like Boston Rob from Survivor)

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#3 Dyckster
June 24 2010, 08:41AM
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Amber,

You Share a striking resemblance to Mr. K. Lowe...Was this article done in the third person? heh

BOSTON Pizza? More than a coincidence?

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#4 Librarian Mike
June 24 2010, 08:48AM
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Tambellini's like that uncle that says 'sure, I'll fix your car' and then proceeds to rip it to pieces with no idea how to undo all his damage.

Frankly, I don't care if the Oilers have to throw a Deslauriers Mr. Sieve in goal next year. I want Khabibulin to do some jail time...constitutional rights...what a douche.

Great to have you back, Amber. Always a pleasure.

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#5 Poo Czar
June 24 2010, 08:53AM
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Anyone else notice that in the Edmonton Journal ad on the right that picture when it says "HALL" is actually Windsor Spitfires #67 Eric Wellwood?

Who says the newspapers are in trouble?

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#6 BUCK75
June 24 2010, 08:53AM
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Lowe was willing to let Taylor go out with his daughter after he gave her one of those fancy anti-rape condoms.

I wonder if they shared a plate of Smoky Mountain Spaghetti?

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#7 The Towel Boy
June 24 2010, 08:54AM
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Poo Czar wrote:

Anyone else notice that in the Edmonton Journal ad on the right that picture when it says "HALL" is actually Windsor Spitfires #67 Eric Wellwood?

Who says the newspapers are in trouble?

Haha...weird.

I blame British Petroleum.

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#8 Librarian Mike
June 24 2010, 08:55AM
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Poo Czar wrote:

Anyone else notice that in the Edmonton Journal ad on the right that picture when it says "HALL" is actually Windsor Spitfires #67 Eric Wellwood?

Who says the newspapers are in trouble?

Just to be safe, I'd forward that information to Tambellini so he doesn't draft Wellwood first...hahaha

*curls into fetal position and starts rocking back and forth*

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#9 rubbertrout
June 24 2010, 09:00AM
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Nice to have you back Amber. Old man Quinn thinks that matching lines is a bunch of hippie propoganda so I'm not too surprised he's gone. I laugh a little at the fact that Tambo says he simply "accelerated" the program rather than admitting it was a mistake in the first place. The fact of the matter is that the team thought that with Khabby and Heater they could be a playoff squad. At least now they appear to recognize that they have to do a true rebuild as opposed to bringing one or two big names to the squad.

EDIT: Anyone else see that Iggy's sister just got dinged for an assault at Flames Central? http://www.calgarysun.com/news/alberta/2010/06/21/14470946.html

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#10 Archaeologuy
June 24 2010, 09:01AM
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Amber!!

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#11 I'm a Scientist!
June 24 2010, 09:09AM
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Damn it! I knew i should have put deodorant on today!!!

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#12 Poo Czar
June 24 2010, 09:13AM
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So in the last day we've had Gregor's Twilight Update, and now an Amber article. Oilers Nation - now 38% more female friendly!

*rearranges doilies, lights scented candles, menstruates*

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#13 baggedmilk
June 24 2010, 09:19AM
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Poo Czar wrote:

So in the last day we've had Gregor's Twilight Update, and now an Amber article. Oilers Nation - now 38% more female friendly!

*rearranges doilies, lights scented candles, menstruates*

I can smell your menstruation.

You've been drinking pineapple juice.

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#14 baggedmilk
June 24 2010, 09:21AM
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rubbertrout wrote:

Nice to have you back Amber. Old man Quinn thinks that matching lines is a bunch of hippie propoganda so I'm not too surprised he's gone. I laugh a little at the fact that Tambo says he simply "accelerated" the program rather than admitting it was a mistake in the first place. The fact of the matter is that the team thought that with Khabby and Heater they could be a playoff squad. At least now they appear to recognize that they have to do a true rebuild as opposed to bringing one or two big names to the squad.

EDIT: Anyone else see that Iggy's sister just got dinged for an assault at Flames Central? http://www.calgarysun.com/news/alberta/2010/06/21/14470946.html

My buddy used to date her, and she is a loose cannon man.

Then when they broke up, he gave us Elvis' phone number and we were calling that bad Oscar for a long time during the '06 cup run.

Ahh to be young.

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#15 Wanye
June 24 2010, 09:47AM
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AMBER!!!!!

That is all.

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#18 rubbertrout
June 24 2010, 10:04AM
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Amber McCormick wrote:

WANYE!!!!

That's just the beginning.

Does this mean you are not just back but back with a vengance?

*by vengance I mean posting at a rate of more than 1 article every 10 months

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#20 rubbertrout
June 24 2010, 10:12AM
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@Amber McCormick

You're kind of a big deal. In any event welcome back to the general depravity that is ON.

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#21 Boris
June 24 2010, 10:18AM
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Amber responded to one of my few posts once.....

I am now important by association. Today is a good day, and I think Fraser is a decent addition to the Oilers bottom 6

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#22 baggedmilk
June 24 2010, 10:31AM
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Amber McCormick wrote:

I'm very busy and important, you know.

Me and Amber have a special bond... *wink*

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#23 Harlie
June 24 2010, 11:08AM
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and of all the BP's locations to pick they probably went to the dumpiest one of them all. Nothin but crackheads, bums and wino's skittering around outside that place. Ralph Klein would be in after hours heaven around that place!

P.S - welcome back Amber!

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#24 jakethesnake
June 24 2010, 11:22AM
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It's one thing bash Lowe but lets not get carried away and bring his kids on here that low

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#25 R.A. Slapshotzky
June 24 2010, 11:52AM
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Lowe pimping out his daughter to Hall... the latest news in the Taylor vs Tyler saga.

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#26 JohnnieOil
June 24 2010, 12:16PM
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just hope it is Hall and yeah hell of a way for Tambi to treat the guy that gave him his break in Van, where by the way he never got promoted to GM hmmm just saying

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#27 SirFozz
June 24 2010, 12:38PM
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Squeeeeeeeee!!!

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